Agenda vol.7

There was that violence of revolt against things as they are, and, mixed with it, there was: "Let this world disappear, let nothing remain, let it not exist!" All that, which at bottom is a revolt, all that nihilistic revolt: let nothing remain, let everything cease to exist. It reached a height of tension, and just at the height of tension, when you felt there was no solution, suddenly ... surrender. But something stronger than surrender - it wasn't abdication, it wasn't self-giving, it wasn't acceptance, it was ... something much more radical, and at the same time much sweeter. I can't say what it was. It had the joy and flavor of giving,, but with such a sense of plenitude! ... Like a dazzling flash, you know, suddenly like that: the very essence of surrender, the True Thing. -p109